What is sex?

Sex is the act of two or more people using words or touch to sexually excite themselves and/or each other. Sometimes this is called sexual arousal, f*cking or "getting off."

Sex and sexy times can feel really good to a lot of people. A lot of us really enjoy the feeling of being touched and talked to in sexy ways, and we enjoy the feeling of making our partner(s) feel these ways too. Sex might involve physical touching, but might not. Some people really like to hear sexy words and not be touched, and that is great for them. Also, many people do not experience sexual desire in these ways, or they only do in certain situations. This is ok. It is also important to recognize that many of us have had bad experiences with sexual words or touching, and because of this may feel bad feelings when talking about or doing sex; this is ok too. Everyone's sexual journey is different, and there is no wrong way to feel about sex; it is very personal and can be very complex.

Sexy words and sexy touching should only happen in a context of consent, where the people involved fully and legally able to give permission for what is happening. Special laws in Canada exist outlining sexual age of consent, as well as legal ability to provide consent. Nobody is legally able to provide consent while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Everybody's body belongs to them and they are allowed to make sexual decisions about their body without being harassed or shamed about it. Making our own sexual decisions is our right. Laws exist to protect children and teenagers from sexual exploitation.

Sexual arousal is a normal feeling, and we can't control it. But we CAN control what we do with these feelings, and we need to only express these feelings in ways which are focused on consent and which are respectful for the people around us. 

Different types of sex carry different pleasures and different types of risks. Some types of sex carry with them chances for pregnancy to happen, or for STIs to be passed on from person to person. Safer sex supplies and decisions to do some type of activities and not others can be used to lessen the risks of these happening.

People are diverse and there is a vast difference in what people like and what they don't like. What one person finds exciting and arousing may be confusing to another person. For example, some people like their ears breathed on, and other people really don't like that. Sexual desire and sexual pleasure is not bad or shameful, as long as these activities are done in a completly consentful way.

Sexual assault and sexual harassment occurs when people are talked to or touched in ways which they did not consent to. There are laws in Canada which outlines these also, and are meant to stop people from sexually assualting or harassing others. Special laws are in place for people under the age of 18 to protect them from sexual exploitation.