What we found out

What we are told
(Messages)

• Most of our parents feel that dating or serious relationships should follow the successful completion of school.
• Our parents preferred that we find partners (boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife) who are from the same ethnic background.
• Our parents send messages about which groups they think are not appropriate. These messages depend on factors such as our religion, money, profession, looks, or intentions to create a family by getting married and having children.
• Same sex relations (being gay or lesbian) are often seen as unacceptable within our families and communities.
• While we still date with or without full permission or knowledge from our parents, guys are able to date more freely than girls.
• Our gender plays an huge role in relation to parental and community expectations. Girls are more likely to be highly supervised and watched over.
• It is expected that girls should get married, have and care for children and the home, and be "second in command" to a man.
• It is expected that guys should be the "head of the household" by getting an education, a career and providing financially for a wife and children.
• Our parents are concerned about us being influenced by Canadian culture and the way sexuality is talked about and expressed.
• Some of our parents feel that there are "no morals" in Canada with regard to sexuality, and often compare Canada with our own ethno-racial minority groups.

How we talk with the family

How we are told